Today’s question was sent in by Joy. “When should I praise my child?” She asks. She’s worried that she’s not praising her kids enough. She thinks that if she doesn’t they will feel insecure about themselves, and maybe have more bad behavior.
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My Article “Mothers Are Drowning In Stress” Is Going Viral
Mothers Really Needed to Hear that the Stress Is Not Their Fault.
When I saw the publisher’s summary of Dr. Caitlyn Collin’s book, Making Motherhood Work, I knew this was the research I was looking for. I couldn’t put it down; I read her book in 4 days. Here at last was documentation of what I claimed in my TEDx talk, The Parenting “ShouldStorm”. Dr. Collins’ research shows how mothers all over the world feel the pressure. But American mothers are the ones drowning in stress they didn’t create and can’t fix on their own. In a world that still believes in intensive mothering, American women get the least support.
Continue reading “My Article “Mothers Are Drowning In Stress” Is Going Viral”How Much Time Should You Spend With Your Child?
One of the most common shoulds that burden parents is this: “I should spend more time with my kids. Parents tell me. “I feel like I’m not spending enough time with them. I should spend more.”
So how much time should you spend with your child? Before we look at that, it’s worth doing a little inventory. When we do, we often find that we are actually spending a great deal of time with our kids. Why don’t we notice this? Why are we always sure we are falling short?
Continue reading “How Much Time Should You Spend With Your Child?”How Do I Limit My Child’s Screen Time?
Today’s question comes from a mom who’s really struggling to set screen time limits with her kids. She says, “How do I limit screen time?” That is a really good question and one we ask in my house a lot. Every time my husband and I get a handle on our kids’ screen time, some kind of schedule disruption comes up and we make an exception. Then we have to get practical again and ask ourselves, “So…how do I limit my child’s screen time?”
Continue reading “How Do I Limit My Child’s Screen Time?”What is a Family Meeting?
What is a family meeting? It’s a chance for everyone to sit down together and check in about how you are doing as a family. And it’s one of the most effective tools for parenting that I know.
Continue reading “What is a Family Meeting?”A Toddler Dismisses Her Dad
“How do I stay close to my daughter?” wrote a worried father. He shared with me how much he loves his 16 month old toddler. To care for her and provide for his family, he commutes an hour and a half each way to and from work every day. But when he arrives home from work, eager to see her, this toddler keeps rejecting her father.
Continue reading “A Toddler Dismisses Her Dad”What if I Mess My Kids Up for Life?
One of the women shared that every night she prays, “God, don’t let me mess this child up.” We all immediately jumped in to support her and tell her how that wasn’t going to happen. It’s the truth.
What Effective Parents Do Differently.
The ShouldStorm we face as parents draws its power from hidden beliefs. One of the most problematic of those untrue beliefs is the idea that if we make a mistake we are going to mess our kids up for life. We particularly feel this if we make a mistake consistently.
Continue reading “What if I Mess My Kids Up for Life?”Parenting Toolkit or Parenting Worries?
How do you stop helicopter parenting? How do you turn the parenting shoulds into tools that you can use? You create your toolkit. If the advice promotes our kids genuine growth as independent individuals, then it goes in the toolkit. But if the advice involves overparenting and overprotecting, it goes in the trash.
Turning The Shoulds That Burden You Into Tools You Can Use.
The ShouldStorm in parenting is the swirling mass of advice and criticism we experience as parents, that drives us to feel anxious and overparent. Sometimes it is the advice itself that’s the problem, because it reinforces the basic ideas that create perfectionism and anxiety. But sometimes it’s not the advice at all. It’s how we hear it, or how we use it. We get to choose: parenting worries or parenting toolkit?
Continue reading “Parenting Toolkit or Parenting Worries?”At the Crack of Dawn: What does it mean to have an early riser?
It’s the crack of dawn, and your kids are up. AGAIN. Some kids get up as early as 430am every day, frustrating their tired parents. How do you deal with early risers?
It’s the crack of dawn, and your kids are up. AGAIN. What does it mean to have an early riser? Some kids get up as early as 430am every day, frustrating their tired parents. How do you deal with early risers?
Continue reading “At the Crack of Dawn: What does it mean to have an early riser?”Mother’s Day: Receiving Generously.
We hear a lot about how we mom’s struggle with putting our families first so much that we neglect ourselves. We do it because we feel we need to, we don’t see another option or we don’t see how it will all get done otherwise. Questions of our own worthiness pester us as we focus on raising our families. We all know that in the craziness we are trying so hard to give them what they need, but is it enough? Are we enough?
Continue reading “Mother’s Day: Receiving Generously.”