Parent Guilt Archives | Alison Escalante MD

Kids with ADHD have Unusual Brain Wiring, New Study Finds

Despite decades of false claims and persistent parent-shaming, “bad parenting” does not cause ADHD. A recent study from the NIH has found more evidence that ADHD symptoms are related to structural differences in the ADHD brain. Children with ADHD have differences on MRI in the number of neural connections in their brains.

You Are the Expert on Your Child

Parents are under intense pressure to get their parenting just right for their child or risk “messing up their child for life.” Then parents doubt they know enough to truly be an expert. It’s a situation that affects everyone, even the super rich like Paris Hilton.

What Is the ShouldStorm and Why Should You Care?

Parents face a culture of criticism and anxiety, and so do their kids.

Parents can’t avoid the culture of criticism that pushes perfectionistic parenting. They are told everything they do matters, and that one little mistake could mess up their child for life. Then, they are told that parents are too anxious these days. They are pelted with advice on how to worry less because anxious over-parenting is… messing up their children.

What To Do When Parents Shame Their Kids.

We use shame with our kids because it works. Sure, we try not to, we know it’s not the best. But here and there, under pressure, it pops out and it’s kind of a relief because we finally get compliance. Except that we’re causing a much bigger problem down the road.

Has someone criticized you or said something shaming to you lately? It feels like a slap in the face. You may feel it as the unpleasant tingle of a blush starting on your face, tightness in your throat and nausea in your belly. Or perhaps you defend yourself from shame by reacting with swift anger. So it won’t surprise you that your kids react to shame this way too.

Forgiving Ourselves: Letting Go of Shame in Parenting

A guest post by Dr. Melissa Welby.

I make parenting mistakes daily. Maybe I forget to do something I said I was going to do, not have enough patience to adeptly navigate parenting challenges, or waste my time mindlessly scrolling social media instead of focusing on more productive areas. I will never be perfect, despite doing my best.