The Reality Behind Inside Out.

Have you ever wondered if the movie Inside Out might actually be real? This is one of my all time favorite movies, because it does an amazing job of showing something true about how we work on the inside. If you saw it, you watched a little girl try to live her life, while colorful little people with the names of her emotions competed for control of her brain.

If you didn’t get to see Inside Out, the trailer does a great job of getting the point across. The times when Disgust is in charge are so much fun. I personally love seeing into what the parents are thinking.

Inside Out Trailer

What’s going on inside your child’s head?

Have you ever wondered what is going on inside your child’s head? I do. Sometimes I even wonder about what is going onside my own head. It definitely feels like my emotions compete for control.

We can all agree that we can behave very differently from our normal selves when certain emotions take over. And for most of us, that’s as far as we take the insights in the movie. Except there is a lot more to it than that, because inside the brains those are not disembodied feelings, they are little people who act like managers.

For a long time now, scientists have found mounting evidence that we are not a single consciousness. It looks like each of us has multiple consciousnesses inside our brain. You know, like multiple versions of our personality, or sub-personalities.

The Reality Behind Inside Out. Have you ever wondered what's going on inside your child's head? It turns out the movie Inside Out is true, or that's what one model of psychology teaches. #parentingtips #parentinghacks #childdevelopment #kids #insideout

And that is exactly what Dr. Richard Schwartz, the discoverer of the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy thinks. When I interviewed him for my blog on Psychology Today, he shared some amazing insights with me.

In “The Voices in Your Head,” Dr. Schwartz explained that not only do we have sub-personalities that he calls “parts” inside us, but that they operate a lot like family does. That shows up in the movie too: when the parts are fighting for control things go haywire, but when they work together like a family things go well.

You’ll never forget the story of how Dr. Schwartz first discovered parts and our inner family. When everything he’d been taught as a doctor of psychology failed, he started listening to his clients and what he heard amazed him.

The Reality Behind Inside Out. Have you ever wondered what's going on inside your child's head? It turns out the movie Inside Out is true, or that's what one model of psychology teaches. #parentingtips #parentinghacks #childdevelopment #kids #insideout
Sometimes we almost seem like different people.

He told me about the three types of parts we have inside, and how most of time adults live their lives from a “manager” part. This part keeps us acting like adults, but has a way of keeping us from facing deeper needs, or experiencing joy. He also told me about something deeper than parts, the Self with a capital S. He’s claiming we all have a pretty ideal person already inside us, that just needs to emerge. You’ll learn how to start letting that self emerge when you read the article.

My second post in the series, “Do You Ever Wonder What’s Going On In Your Child’s Head?” considers how Inside Out explains a lot about our kids. Sometimes our kids behave strangely, like when toddlers ask for something and then get upset when we give it to them. Or when we ourselves behave out of character and say “I wasn’t myself.”

Is it true that “I wasn’t myself?” Yes, according to IFS, I likely did something I regretted because a part inside me called a “firefighter” showed up and took over. It sure feels like sometimes a red cartoon man named Anger takes over inside me and blows his top.

So how is this useful to us as parents? Dr. Schwartz shared with me a simple exercise to begin understanding what’s going on inside our own head. I hope you’ll read it and turn your own head inside out.

If you want to know more about Should-Free parenting join us on Facebook where we have a really fun group of parents. Or explore this site for more blogs, or videos with Dr. Alison.

©Alison Escalante MD
Disclaimer: This article represents general education and does not constitute medical advice. My ideas are mine alone.

The Reality Behind Inside Out. Have you ever wondered what's going on inside your child's head? It turns out the movie Inside Out is true, or that's what one model of psychology teaches. #parentingtips #parentinghacks #childdevelopment #kids #insideout

How to Hack Your Brain with Happy Music

Did you know you can hack your brain with the right music? If you want to be happier, you can listen to happy music. However, if you need to work through some darker feelings, music in sync with that can help.

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Forgiving Ourselves: Letting Go of Shame in Parenting

A guest post by Dr. Melissa Welby.

I make parenting mistakes daily. Maybe I forget to do something I said I was going to do, not have enough patience to adeptly navigate parenting challenges, or waste my time mindlessly scrolling social media instead of focusing on more productive areas. I will never be perfect, despite doing my best.

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I had a Mom Meltdown at the Star Wars Celebration.

Tickets sold out within minutes, and my husband knew our chances of taking the boys to the 2019 Star Wars Celebration were about zero. But only a week before the event we got off the wait-list and got tickets! The kids were going to love it! I mean, this was Star Wars.

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10 Tips to Stop Meltdowns on Family Vacation

I look forward to family vacation so much! Our lives get so busy and it’s a chance for us to reconnect and make amazing memories together. We look forward to our trips exactly because it is a break from our usual life, the routine that can become grinding. But it’s being off our routine that disrupts our kids and causes the meltdowns. And I’m not talking about just the toddlers! Kids of any age have tantrums on vacation… and so do their parents.

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When Should I Praise My Child?

Today’s question was sent in by Joy. “When should I praise my child?” She asks. She’s worried that she’s not praising her kids enough. She thinks that if she doesn’t they will feel insecure about themselves, and maybe have more bad behavior.

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My Article “Mothers Are Drowning In Stress” Is Going Viral

Mothers Really Needed to Hear that the Stress Is Not Their Fault.

When I saw the publisher’s summary of Dr. Caitlyn Collin’s book, Making Motherhood Work, I knew this was the research I was looking for. I couldn’t put it down; I read her book in 4 days. Here at last was documentation of what I claimed in my TEDx talk, The Parenting “ShouldStorm”. Dr. Collins’ research shows how mothers all over the world feel the pressure. But American mothers are the ones drowning in stress they didn’t create and can’t fix on their own. In a world that still believes in intensive mothering, American women get the least support.

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How Much Time Should You Spend With Your Child?

One of the most common shoulds that burden parents is this: “I should spend more time with my kids. Parents tell me. “I feel like I’m not spending enough time with them. I should spend more.”

So how much time should you spend with your child? Before we look at that, it’s worth doing a little inventory. When we do, we often find that we are actually spending a great deal of time with our kids. Why don’t we notice this? Why are we always sure we are falling short?

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How Do I Limit My Child’s Screen Time?

Today’s question comes from a mom who’s really struggling to set screen time limits with her kids. She says, “How do I limit screen time?” That is a really good question and one we ask in my house a lot. Every time my husband and I get a handle on our kids’ screen time, some kind of schedule disruption comes up and we make an exception. Then we have to get practical again and ask ourselves, “So…how do I limit my child’s screen time?”

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