“How do I stay close to my daughter?” wrote a worried father. He shared with me how much he loves his 16 month old toddler. To care for her and provide for his family, he commutes an hour and a half each way to and from work every day. But when he arrives home from work, eager to see her, this toddler keeps rejecting her father.Continue reading “A Toddler Dismisses Her Dad”
One of the women shared that every night she prays, “God, don’t let me mess this child up.” We all immediately jumped in to support her and tell her how that wasn’t going to happen. It’s the truth.
What Effective Parents Do Differently.
The ShouldStorm we face as parents draws its power from hidden beliefs. One of the most problematic of those untrue beliefs is the idea that if we make a mistake we are going to mess our kids up for life. We particularly feel this if we make a mistake consistently.Continue reading “What if I Mess My Kids Up for Life?”
How do you stop helicopter parenting? How do you turn the parenting shoulds into tools that you can use? You create your toolkit. If the advice promotes our kids genuine growth as independent individuals, then it goes in the toolkit. But if the advice involves overparenting and overprotecting, it goes in the trash.
Turning The Shoulds That Burden You Into Tools You Can Use.
The ShouldStorm in parenting is the swirling mass of advice and criticism we experience as parents, that drives us to feel anxious and overparent. Sometimes it is the advice itself that’s the problem, because it reinforces the basic ideas that create perfectionism and anxiety. But sometimes it’s not the advice at all. It’s how we hear it, or how we use it. We get to choose: parenting worries or parenting toolkit?Continue reading “Parenting Toolkit or Parenting Worries?”
It’s the crack of dawn, and your kids are up. AGAIN. Some kids get up as early as 430am every day, frustrating their tired parents. How do you deal with early risers?
It’s the crack of dawn, and your kids are up. AGAIN. What does it mean to have an early riser? Some kids get up as early as 430am every day, frustrating their tired parents. How do you deal with early risers?Continue reading “At the Crack of Dawn: What does it mean to have an early riser?”
Waiting in Lines on Family Vacation
Despite hours of waiting at lines at Disney World, there is no way around it: Disney is one of my favorite family trips. That’s because Disney is just different. The grounds are clean, and so is the language people use. There are very few people pushing, you are surrounded by people who are generally reasonably happy and enjoying time with family.Continue reading “The Dread of Waiting in Lines at Disney”
Trick-or-treat! It’s a few days after Halloween and your adorable fairy-princess-witch-super-Star Wars-ninja just collected a pillow case full of Halloween candy. You know how bad all that sugar is. What is a responsible parent to do?Continue reading “Never Fear, the Switch Witch is Here”
Creativity and Boredom
Where we grew up, there were still lots of older homes with no central air conditioning. The summers were hot and humid. There were a few activities you could sign up for at the middle school, but they weren’t all day camps. There were morning swimming lessons in the freezing cold community pool, but after that there was not much to do. The kids that were around did tend to spend a lot of time inside using their Nintendo’s. We already knew our mom was a little different from the other moms. She made us eat whole-grain bread and natural peanut butter, and our snacks were pieces of cheese and fruit. We didn’t get free access to hostess cakes like our friends did. Our TV time was limited, and we had never owned a Nintendo.Continue reading “The Summer of No TV”
Nature Teaches Kids with Natural Consequences
“The seagulls sure are beautiful, Mom,” said one of my kids on our first evening at the beach in Florida. “Yeah, they are pretty cool,” said the other. “It’s like Finding Nemo!” The two of them started chirping: “Mine Mine Mine Mine.”Continue reading “Swooping Seagulls”
We live in a culture of constant criticism, haunted by the idea that one mistake can alter our childs destiny forever. This “Shouldstorm” makes us anxious parents who raise anxious kids.
We live in a culture of constant criticism, haunted by the idea that one mistake can alter our childs destiny forever. This “Shouldstorm” makes us anxious parents who raise anxious kids.Continue reading “The TEDx You Can’t Miss: ShouldStorm”