As parents, we love our kids and we try so hard to be the best parents we can. We know that the people historically raised kids, often with physical punishment or shaming words, was not good for them. So we look for good, expert parenting advice we can use to give our kids what they need.
But the experts often disagree with each other. In fact, as one mother shared with me this week, the only think the parenting advice seemed to agree on was that whatever she was doing was wrong. Her own mother told her to stop reading parenting books and articles because she could see how anxiety-provoking they were. Without advice, she was left with the old saying “trust your instincts.”
In my new article as Forbes first official parenting contributor, I detail the rise of “scientific motherhood.” This two-plus century trend disempowers parents by telling them they need expert advice to raise their kids but are incapable of doing a good job. I also share comments from clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, who points out that following our instincts means we are going to repeat the past.
Fortunately, there is a better way of parenting. If we focus on regulating our nervous systems so we can come to our children with mindful presence, we can begin to parent wisely. This is what the Sigh, See, Start method allows us to do, as we learn to show up for our kids in the way they want most.
